'He's kicked the bucket'

Five years ago today, I wrote this entry on my multiply blog. To you uncle, know that you're still loved and remembered. On your death anniversary, you may have prodded me a little because I sought this out in the archives of the internet -- out of the blue. And only by checking the blog entry date that I am reminded that it's been five years since. 

***

I realized today how fleeting life is. I am so morose today as I contemplate on the mortality of man.

 

My uncle who seemed very healthy just died at dawn today. He had just came out of the hospital after a diagnosis of stage 3 cancer. 

I cried when his daughter told me on the phone; my cousin felt that in his last days he was able to mend his broken relationships. Among those people he had not spoken to in years was me. I remembered that it was one Christmas when he said something that hurt me. I didn't bear a grudge but pride got in the way. I thought to myself that if he wouldn't want to talk, fine with me. I was very indifferent. 

For some strange reason, I included him in my shopping list last Christmas. I sent my gift for him through his son on Christmas day though, he lives just a stone's throw away from me, in fact, just a house away from ours. Then on the eve of new year, he made a huge effort to invite us to share media noche in his house. We had fun and really a great time partaking of the roasted suckling pig. 

More than anything, what made it so great was the fact that we had taken down the walls between us. He hugged me tight and I hugged him back. His eyes were clouding with tears while I was choked with emotion. No word of apologies were needed between us. We both understood it was the only thing we needed.

I was his favorite niece and in spite of our differences when I entered adulthood, still he is my favorite uncle. He has left us on this earth mourning for our loss. I just hope and pray that he is going to a place where he will be happier and there is no more pain to pierce his ailing body. 

I didn't know how real it is when people say that death is like a thief in the night until today.You never know when it is coming. No appointments made prior to the visit.  I thought I still have ample time to see him again and converse with him just like what we used to do. 

So, we need to work so hard at building meaningful relationships. And that grudges should not be allowed to take over your life. For life is so fleeting. When the one we love crosses over to another world, it would be too late to realize their value in our lives. By then, we are already robbed of the opportunity to see the joy in their face when they're finally unburdened of the cross they are carrying. 

I am going to miss him terribly. I can only wish I could ease the pain of his passing with a good dose of crying. But I know it wouldn't be that easy. My only consolation is the knowledge that today, I have another angel who watches over me. He has joined my grandma in heaven. 

P.S. My Lolo shortly followed my Lola. 

When  am honest enough, I think of the missed opportunity to care and show my dear departed loved ones how appreciated and loved they are. It is my hope that each of us take extra effort for the loved ones that are still with us today. For life is mercifully short and death comes like a thief in the night. 

XX

Sheng