Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Hiatus

I have been away for a whole nine months! Whew! By now, I should have given birth to a baby. :) 

In a way, I did -- I have re-discovered my love for growing things. I am now a quasi serious container gardener, propagating succulents, growing tomatoes. And even started becoming an entrepreneur. 
Green pepper grown from discarded seeds from my kitchen. 

Can you believe I actually had lemonade from freshly picked fruits right out of my garden?
I had so many things I wanted to write about. Memories and experiences that made my motherhood journey enriching. My darling little rascal Kate is more than a handful. She's now in a stage when anything that fascinates her merit the level of excitement only a child would have. She reminds me to retain that childlike wonder so often gets buried in our jaded adult life. 


She loves airplanes flying over our roof. She'd be giddy with excitement waving at them from our tiny balcony. She loves to "swim" so every weekend we trek to the village pool and she would wade and do jumps with me.
Kate at 22 months! Trying to assert her independence and scaring the wits out of me. 
I also live by those teaching moments when she would remember to say her magic words -- please, thank yous, and sorry. Sometimes it's very tempting to just brush off the offense. She was too cute, anyway. But I hold my ground, most often than not. I make her realize that what she did is wrong. Many times, I get rewarded with a fierce hug and an quite "sorry, mommy."

And work life that I juggled (and continue to juggle) while not missing out on the milestones of my kid. In the months that have passed however, living the experiences took center stage. I enjoyed the sleepless nights, the early mornings, frantic work deliverables and the little everyday nothings that filled my day. 

Every now and then, though, I would think about going back to this personal space. By nature, I love to share. And perhaps, anyone who would happen to drop by will pick-up something even if it's just a hint of a smile on the things that make to the pages of this journal. 

I went through a long hiatus. Makes me nostalgic and dreamy. And hopeful of the many wonderful things I claim to unfold. 


I promised myself to share more. Sit down more. Write more. 

Xx

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Cheers, 2016!

I have not written in a long time. Sad. The desire to write again seems so daunting now. And difficult.  So, here I am trying to organize my thoughts. Perhaps, I will begin with a story. 

Incredible things happened the last year. Work-wise, I dove into another world. It was exhilirating. I learned an entirely different skill set which strengthened my resolve to continue to explore and never be boxed in. 

On the personal front, we celebrated a milestone for my little darling rascal Kate. She turned a year old towards the end of the year. It was a simple gathering of good friends sharing a sumptous meal and fun entertainment. 

On one hand, 2015 also saw me losing some. I tend to keep a small circle of friends. And the friendships that I have kept over the years have spanned decades. I can only the count the rare few that have drifted away. Yet, last year saw me falling out with an entire group. Just like any relationship gone sour, this one didn't have closure (on my part, at least). 

Initially, I was oblivious to it. Seemed like I went through the seven stages of grief. Ha ha ha. Disbelief, denial, guilt... all the way to acceptance. A wise friend once told me that in this life, "you win some, you lose some."

What have I realized? Superficial friendships do not survive even the slightest tremor. Real friendships do not withstood time by just counting off the months and years that roll by. The ones who are true stand by you at your weakest and most trying times. Mature friendships do not sneak around and abandon you. 

Life happens though. The rainbow after my little storm is the winnowing of the chaff. The gems most often than not get buried way too deep. Experiences like it unearthed the ones worth keeping, and the ones you have to discard. 

Life is too precious to be filled with toxicity and negativity. Onward to a life carefully cultivated and nurtured. 

Now that 2016 has rolled by, I made a commitment to myself to integrate work as well as my life outside of it. 

I commit to invest more time with my little one. Savor each moment as she's literally growing before my eyes. Each day, she's increasingly becoming independent. I hope to keep her within my grasp, needing me. 

I commit to take vacations and dates with my husband. Work and home life can be exhausting and consuming. But we have to take time -- to renew, to reconnect, to realign our hopes and dreams. A little romance now and then to keep the fire burning. 

I commit to build a home that encourages learning and loving unconditionally. I hope to create an environment where love is best shown in the gestures and expressions to the people around us. 

I commit to nurture my container garden. Build with my hands. Grow my own pocket of greenery in our tiny balcony. Learn to grow tomatoes, pepper and herbs. I don't have to be the barefoot contessa to whip up a meal straight from my mini-garden, right? 


I commit to read books to keep the mind sharp and fertile. Never stop learning and growing. 

I commit to save more. Spend less. Be mindful of habits. Stay within budget. 

I commit to be a better person, friend, daughter, mother and wife. 

Here's to 2016 with its bright promises and amazing things to unfold. 


Cheers!

Xx

Sheng