Wednesday, October 29, 2014

The Home Stretch

Monday, November 3, 2014 marks my 37th weeks of pregnancy. Just three more weeks in the home stretch. But according to my OB, it could be anytime soon. The baby can decide to show up earlier or later than expected.  Ugh. My anxiety level just shot up. 

After my OB check, I went home with a one-track mind. Fill my go-bag with baby essentials and put it in the trunk. Stat. 

I am in a delirious state of anxiously waiting but hoping not-too-soon baby. And yet crossing my fingers that when she pops out, I'm totally ready, even if it's still too early-- for me, at least. 

Today, I've been in a frenzy ticking off items on my to-do list so I won't be thinking about work when the time comes. 

At six o' clock this evening, I decided to write down my ramblings to find comfort in this mixed state of euphoria and fear. 

How my pregnancy has progressed. 

I thought it would be easy-breezy, from day 1 to D-day. I made it until the 7th month with hardly any complaints. Then, it seemed like all the discomfort of the whole nine yards were cramped into this short period (8th to 9th) before I pop out. My first two trimesters were relatively easy. No dizzy spells. No morning sickness. No bed rests. No cravings. No issues on sugar levels. No worries on my blood pressure elevating. 

In fact, everything is relatively painless. My OB was confident on my health that I was able to travel for work until my 6th month. She has even allowed me to go out of town on my 37th week. 

And then, the home stretch happened, is happening... 

All at once, I feel like all the discomforts in this world have been dumped in one timeline. 

These days, I have difficulty sleeping at night. No matter how physically tired I was, I don't hit the snooze until way later into the night. 

Finding the right sleep position is as elusive as the blue corn moon. Turning left or right requires a lot of effort. There's so much grunting that happens in the space of time that it takes me to flip sides. That 10-second of elapsed time seems like an eternity to a beached whale. 

And I am a woman interrupted. I usually get up at 3-4 times a night to pee. I've tried all the tricks that were shared with me. But nothing seems to work. I even wake up parched but I refuse to drink water because am afraid to pee some more. 

Just when you have drifted to oblivion, the sun starts to rise and the alarm sets off. Whattalife!

I waddle like a duck. I tried the mind-over-matter trick. I imagine myself walking normally. Yet, everyday, I catch myself with my very protruding belly way ahead of me. I feel like I'm going to topple over if am not careful. And it's true, a pregnant woman in her advanced stage can no longer see her feet. Ugh. 
I believe this is how I look like. 

Sore, swollen feet. Really, really sore. At the end of the day, my feet look like a generously stuffed sausage. Sadly, it's not the aesthetics that am concerned about but the nagging pain that goes with it all through the night. 

I became fanatic about having a foot spa. The 10-15 minute relaxed kneading on my tired feet feels like heaven on earth. I've been wondering for a while where I could have pre-natal services. I've inquired at The Spa but sadly they don't have one. And then, onto my 8th month, my friend and fellow preggers Nina told me about Clarins Institut's Beautiful Mom-To-Be massage and scrub services. I booked the service. And I'll share here how it is was in my next post.

Daily, I wake up Mondaze, Tuesdaze, Wednesdaze, Thursdaze, Fridaze. Then, weekends come. And I'm as alive, alert, awake and enthusiastic at six in the morning! Ugh. What a travesty!

Weekends these days are spent going to the mall shopping for baby stuff. In my previous life, the mall is my sanctuary. These days, I dread going. A 15 minute walk around the baby shops require a 10 minute rest on benches, cafes and at any available surface I can rest lazy my butt on. Everything hurts :( even my pocket. Ha ha ha!

Everyone keeps asking me when do I take a leave. Early in my pregnancy I've consciously made the decision to hold on to my sanity by working until my water bag breaks... 

I want to maximize the opportunity to spend time with my little one when it pops out of the oven. Inasmuch as I dread to be spending long sleepless nights, I very much look forward to gazing at my baby, whispering sweet nothings, and reading with her. 

We can hardly wait for the big day. But little one, please maximize your time in mommy's tummy so we can still be spending time at the office. Mommy needs to ensure that she's hit her PMP objectives before the year ends! Lol!

We are very excited to meet you, soon :) Your little nook is almost ready. It's not yet complete but don't worry it shall be completely prepared when you decide to grace us with your presence already. 

Miss Kate, here's your very Pottery Barn crib.



Thursday, October 9, 2014


Change is constant. And change can be daunting. But change can also be exciting. 

This year is all about the constancy of change in my life. 

This year set a milestone in my married life. We've always wanted to have a baby but we thought that we could plan it. In our minds, the perfect time is when we have moved already to our own condo unit, when we have saved enough, traveled enough. But no, God surprised us one day when He smiled upon us and deemed us ready for a new responsibility, a new addition to our small unit. We're expecting a stork in the next 5 weeks! And we're expecting with bated breath. 

Summer of this year saw me transition to a new job which is really a welcome relief; like a breath of fresh air. I strongly believe that God's timing is always perfect. But I know that it can be difficult to hold onto this promise when you're in a rough patch in whatever area in your life. For me, the waiting was over a year. I went through the normalcy of showing up for work, delivering what is required, yet always, always pining for that new job I was praying for. 

When it came, it arrived in my doorstep so suddenly I didn't have time to blink. In a snap, my work responsibility and description changed. And I was never happier. God's appointment is always on time. 

With just weeks to prepare for the arrival of our baby, we moved houses. From a very tiny condo for two, we moved to a two bedroom unit in a neighbourhood that is suitable for families. It's not just the physical move that gives me the jitters but the thought of living with other people to help us raise our child. 

I came from a large family. Growing up, every space in our house is occupied by a sibling, a relative visiting or staying with us for a while. So, when it came for me to work on my independence, I struggled to live by myself, learn to fend for myself, and I learned to love living by myself. The occasional visit to the hometown was always treated us a vacation. So, the chaos and the noise were tolerated. 

This time though, I dread the day that I would have to constantly deal with others inside my home. In a week or so, the help would arrive along with my mom and aunt. Am glad that my mom and Tita have agreed to stay with me while I am adjusting to motherhood, raising a child, and entrusting my child's care to a stranger. 

I've also noticed the changing of the tides in my shopping pilgrimage to the mall. Now, I spend hours looking at small, cute items. I realized that buying practical stuff for the baby takes a lot of patience, thinking and bargaining. And the array of choices is crazy. We've made a habit of checking out online stores to find the cutest dress, hippest baby sweaters, the fanciest booties. But at the end of the day, we end up with basic whites with ties on the side, old school binders and mittens. Nothing beats the elegance of a white onesie, white booties, white mittens and white binders. 

We're reserving the splash of colours in our baby's accessories. Can't wait to decorate her tiny space in our tiny bedroom! 

The biggest change is yet to happen. When we hold the tiny hand of our little wee one, we begin the journey to parenthood... to being responsible for the shaping and nurturing a new life. Or has it already started the moment that tiny heart started beating inside my womb? 

Cheers to change!