of body weight issues, long gowns and stress

It's the season for long gowns... in our company. It's the time of the year that I find myself in the drama of finding that nice fitting gown. 

Amid the summer heat, we all troop to a formal event in our long gowns, high heels and glossy make-up. We usually arrive at the venue at high noon. 

Because we are working committees. Nah, we're not awardees. We honor the hardworking men and women of our sales force. We show our respect and appreciation by showing up at our best. Although the program doesn't start until 5pm, we show up way too early because...

Year after year, we follow a theme. Be it in color or accessories. Through the years, the look I have paraded are quite nostalgic, funny and downright cheesy. Thrown in is the annual wish to lose a few pounds to look better in photographs. 

2004 (Fairytale): First event; several pounds lighter

 

2005 (Avon Idol): No tummy yet.

I can't find my 2006 photo. I can't remember it. 

2007: No am not preggo; just extremely fat. Lol!

In 2008, 2009 and 2010, my teammates and I consecutively missed this event because we were pulling an all-nighter just across the Philippine International Convention Center (PICC) setting up the venue (and other logistics) for the Leadership Day, slated the following day. Hence, no photo and no gown. 

In 2011, I thought I'd wear a cocktail dress. Am not sure if we were allowed but it was my first time to be a non-committee member. I felt lost. The culture of being a "hired help" during a gala night is so well engrained in me, I didn't know how to enjoy the evening sans the rushing from one end of the ballroom to the other. 

2011: After Gala Night photo op

 Last year, I chose this. 

2012: As I age, I feel that I look better except that I've grown bigger. Damn, hypothyroidism. It sucks. And sedentary lifestyle, too. Bummer.

There are exactly 14 days left before the event. I checked my gown box last night. Looked at them. Felt the textures on my hand. I tried to remember the memory each evoked. 

I even tried wearing each of them to no avail. The old ones do not fit anymore. It left me scrambling for a peg and an emergency call to my dressmaker. I had this notion that I will just put on a repeat thinking that as a non-celebrity, am entitled to do so. What utter madness!

It maybe permitted but genetics er lifestyle forbids me so. Now, if only am 40 pounds lighter. Am sure I could wiggle in that powder blue gown of mine. 

Wishful thinking aside, am now off to the fabric store. Stress -- do not hound me!

XX

Sheng