Hiatus

I have been away for a whole nine months! Whew! By now, I should have given birth to a baby. :) 

In a way, I did -- I have re-discovered my love for growing things. I am now a quasi serious container gardener, propagating succulents, growing tomatoes. And even started becoming an entrepreneur. 

Green pepper grown from discarded seeds from my kitchen. 

Can you believe I actually had lemonade from freshly picked fruits right out of my garden?

I had so many things I wanted to write about. Memories and experiences that made my motherhood journey enriching. My darling little rascal Kate is more than a handful. She's now in a stage when anything that fascinates her merit the level of excitement only a child would have. She reminds me to retain that childlike wonder so often gets buried in our jaded adult life. 

She loves airplanes flying over our roof. She'd be giddy with excitement waving at them from our tiny balcony. She loves to "swim" so every weekend we trek to the village pool and she would wade and do jumps with me.

Kate at 22 months! Trying to assert her independence and scaring the wits out of me. 

I also live by those teaching moments when she would remember to say her magic words -- please, thank yous, and sorry. Sometimes it's very tempting to just brush off the offense. She was too cute, anyway. But I hold my ground, most often than not. I make her realize that what she did is wrong. Many times, I get rewarded with a fierce hug and an quite "sorry, mommy."

And work life that I juggled (and continue to juggle) while not missing out on the milestones of my kid. In the months that have passed however, living the experiences took center stage. I enjoyed the sleepless nights, the early mornings, frantic work deliverables and the little everyday nothings that filled my day. 

Every now and then, though, I would think about going back to this personal space. By nature, I love to share. And perhaps, anyone who would happen to drop by will pick-up something even if it's just a hint of a smile on the things that make to the pages of this journal. 

I went through a long hiatus. Makes me nostalgic and dreamy. And hopeful of the many wonderful things I claim to unfold. 

I promised myself to share more. Sit down more. Write more. 

Xx

Changes

Change is constant. And change can be daunting. But change can also be exciting. 

This year is all about the constancy of change in my life. 

This year set a milestone in my married life. We've always wanted to have a baby but we thought that we could plan it. In our minds, the perfect time is when we have moved already to our own condo unit, when we have saved enough, traveled enough. But no, God surprised us one day when He smiled upon us and deemed us ready for a new responsibility, a new addition to our small unit. We're expecting a stork in the next 5 weeks! And we're expecting with bated breath. 

Summer of this year saw me transition to a new job which is really a welcome relief; like a breath of fresh air. I strongly believe that God's timing is always perfect. But I know that it can be difficult to hold onto this promise when you're in a rough patch in whatever area in your life. For me, the waiting was over a year. I went through the normalcy of showing up for work, delivering what is required, yet always, always pining for that new job I was praying for. 

When it came, it arrived in my doorstep so suddenly I didn't have time to blink. In a snap, my work responsibility and description changed. And I was never happier. God's appointment is always on time. 

With just weeks to prepare for the arrival of our baby, we moved houses. From a very tiny condo for two, we moved to a two bedroom unit in a neighbourhood that is suitable for families. It's not just the physical move that gives me the jitters but the thought of living with other people to help us raise our child. 

I came from a large family. Growing up, every space in our house is occupied by a sibling, a relative visiting or staying with us for a while. So, when it came for me to work on my independence, I struggled to live by myself, learn to fend for myself, and I learned to love living by myself. The occasional visit to the hometown was always treated us a vacation. So, the chaos and the noise were tolerated. 

This time though, I dread the day that I would have to constantly deal with others inside my home. In a week or so, the help would arrive along with my mom and aunt. Am glad that my mom and Tita have agreed to stay with me while I am adjusting to motherhood, raising a child, and entrusting my child's care to a stranger. 

I've also noticed the changing of the tides in my shopping pilgrimage to the mall. Now, I spend hours looking at small, cute items. I realized that buying practical stuff for the baby takes a lot of patience, thinking and bargaining. And the array of choices is crazy. We've made a habit of checking out online stores to find the cutest dress, hippest baby sweaters, the fanciest booties. But at the end of the day, we end up with basic whites with ties on the side, old school binders and mittens. Nothing beats the elegance of a white onesie, white booties, white mittens and white binders. 

We're reserving the splash of colours in our baby's accessories. Can't wait to decorate her tiny space in our tiny bedroom! 

The biggest change is yet to happen. When we hold the tiny hand of our little wee one, we begin the journey to parenthood... to being responsible for the shaping and nurturing a new life. Or has it already started the moment that tiny heart started beating inside my womb? 

Cheers to change!

Xx

Sheng